It's not always what it seems
by moka.akashyia.1
Summary: Katniss has had a bad life, she was made fun of as a kid, her dad dies, her mom abuses her after her dad dies, she tries to kill herself, someone who she used to love and now she hates comes back but can they fall in love again after what he did to her. Rated T for self harm, attempted suicide, drinking, drugs, fighting, and language. I'm sorry I suck at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, so this fanfic/story is graphic it evolves self harm, attempted suicide, fighting, drinking, drugs, and of course bad language. So if that's not your thing than go away and for those of you who have read my other fanfics/stories the language is ten times worse. One character is from The Outsiders (it's Dally, S.E. Hinton owns him) Suzanne Collins owns everything (except Dally) I only own my ideas. And for those of you who haven't read my other fanfics/stories I always put quotes at the beginning of every chapter and if I thought of the quote I use my initials (LD).**

**"Someone else is happy with less than you have, so just stop fucking complaining"**

**-LD**

**(Stuff I'm not sure how to fit in story but YOU MUST READ)**

**{Katniss fights a lot (like street fighting), but she won't fight without a reason, but when she gets bored she fights with her friends (Finnick, Peeta, Gale, and Dallas (Dally from The Outsiders, I needed another character and that is what I thought of, S.E. Hinton owns him not me(I wish I did though)) and somethings happened to Katniss that only Peeta knows (and me) that makes her like this but she is good at school and has a dream of going to Juilliard (a college for performing arts like dancing, drama, and playing instruments) and she drinks alot and her mom abuses her and Prim tries to get Katniss to stop acting like she does and her dad is still dead}**

**Katniss's POV**

**(Katniss's Dream)**

_I'm walking to meet my boyfriend at the park, when I see him kissing another girl, I think her name is Glimmer. Why would he do this to me? Did I do something wrong?_

_"What are you doing?" I ask him_

_"Nothing, I never loved you, I just felt sorry for you. Now go away you piece of worthless trash." he says _

**(End Dream)**

I groan when I hear my alarm clock ring, I hate that dream, it happened when I was thirteen, but I still didn't want to get up. I try to get up but fail. I end up on the floor, what a great way to start the day. I hear the window open, that's Gale and Dally.

"Hey Catnip." Gale says

"What are you doing on the floor, forget how to walk?" Dally says with a smirk

"No jackass, I fell." I say

"Nice PJ's." Dally says and Gale grins

I look down I'm wearing my black lacy bra and fuzzy shorts.

"Fuck you." I say

"Please." Dally says

"You can fuck later, hurry up and get dressed, we have to get to school." Gale says

"Yeah, yeah." I say

I get up off the floor and go to my closet and grab a black tank top and black skinny jeans, I walk into the bathroom put on my clothes, and a little bit of mascara, than brush my hair (in this story Kaniss has scene hair, if you are wondering what that is just google it (but if you're lazy like me it is just hair with lots of layers at the top and the bottom layer really long, I'm not good with explaining so it would be better if you just google it)) and put my hair into a side braid. I walk out of the bathroom and put on my converse and a black knited beanie hat and grab my guitar, I play flute and oboe too but I only need my guitar today, if it weren't for instruments and Peeta I probably would be dead by now.

**Flashback**

_I've had enough I can't take it anymore, I just have to make it stop. I hate my life, I can't live any longer, I just want to die. After my dad died my mom hates me, she blames me,she hits me, she slaps me, and she yells at me for every little thing I do wrong. She doesn't even acknowledge that I'm there unless she is doing that. And at school people bully me they hate me too. I can't take it anymore._

_I slowly raise the knife to my neck untill I feel the cold metal touch my throat, When suddenly the door flies open and I see a shocked Peeta._

_"Katniss, what are you doing, put the knife down please." he begs me_

_I slowly lower the knife untill it's resting in my lap. He slowly walks over to me and takes the knife and sets it on the floor away from me. Then comes over to me and hugs me._

**End Flashback**

That was when I was twelve. I try to forget about that day but I can't. I own Peeta my life. There is no way to repay him. I try to be nicer to him then other people, but sometime I just snap at him, he knows that I usually don't mean what I say. I stopped trying to kill myself when I started playing instruments, because then I had something to live for, I realised that I could be someone, and I'm going to try to get into Juilliard (a college for performing arts like dancing, drama, and playing instruments) when I'm older. I made Peeta promise not to tell anybody about that day. I stopped being that pathetic, shy, little girl when I was fourteen, I like who I am today.

I walk into the kitchen and go to the refrigerator, there's no food I'll have to go hunting with Gale when I get back from school. The only reason I go hunting is because my mom doesn't let me eat dinner with her and Prim, she says that I'm a disgrace to this family and that I killed my dad, I don't know why she blames me for killing my dad, he died in a mining accident when I was eleven, I was at school no where nere him, I really miss him, I loved him so much. I really need to stop thinking about him, before I get all depressed and shit, won't let that happen again.

"You want something to drink?" I ask pulling out two beers

"Yay, free beer, give me one." Gale says and I toss him one

"You want one too?" I ask Dally

"Sure, why not." he says

I toss him one, then grab two out for me, I have to at least be buzzed by the time I get to school. Beer is like my coffee, I have one or two almost every morning, but I'm not an alcoholic, I only get completely drunk when it's my birthday or a holiday or I go to a party. I pay for my own beer using the money I get from my job at Greasy Sae's, It's a diner owned by Greasy Sae, I'm a waitress there, it doesn't pay that good but enough to buy beer. Oh and if you're wondering how I get the beer with me being only 16, I get it from Ripper, a woman that sells alcohol in an ally by Greasy Sae's.

"How is that fair, you get two but we only get one." Dally says

"It's my fucking house, now stop complaining before I take it back and smash it over your head" I say finishing my first beer and throwing it at the wall behind him

"Jesus Crist, can't you just throw it away." Dally says

"Nope." I say opening my second bottle of beer

"And correction, It's your mom's house not yours." he says as Gale and him throw their beer bottles away

"Fuck off." I say heading to the door

"Where is your mom at?" Gale asks as we walk out the front door

"I have no clue, probably taking Prim to school or at work." I say

Fuck I'm only wearing a tank top and for some fucked up reason we can't wear tank tops to school. I look over and see the Gale is wearing a plaid button up shirt.

"Hey Gale, give me your shirt." I say

"Why?" he asks

"Don't question, just give." I say

"Fine." he says and gives it to me

I put it on, it's huge on me

"You look sexy in that you should wear my clothes more often." Gale says

"You only like it because it looks like I just had sex with you." I say

"Whose to say you didn't." Gale says

I have an evil idea. I walk up to him and push him against a brick wall of a building and trail my pointer finger down his chest and stomach till I get to the edge of his jeans, his boxers are just above his jeans I stick my finger a little bit into his boxers a pull the elastic back a little and then let go it makes a snapping sound, then lean in and kiss from the bottom of his neck to his ear, he moans softly, then I bite his ear really hard. He screams in pain. I step back, damn I bite his ear hard it's bleeding, but he deserved it.

"You Bitch!" He screams

"Shouldn't have pissed with me." I say

Then he tries to punch me in the face, but I duck down and avoid it. When your mom does this to you everyday since you were eleven you learn to avoid them. I punch him in the face, Oh shit did I just brake his nose. Whoops.

"I'm sorry Gale, but you shouldn't have called me a bitch and tried to punch me." I say even though I'm not

"It's fine Catnip." he says

"Let me see if I broke it." I say

"I don't think it's broken, it's just bleeding, tilt your head back, it will stop after a while." I say

"Did you know there is a new kid starting today?" Dally asks

"Nope." I say not caring and take a sip of my last beer then throwing at a cat sitting in the street

"I heard he got expelled from his last school for beating the shit out of someone, his name is Cato Ludwig (I used the actor that played Cato's (Alexander Ludwig) last name), he's rich." Dally says

"That's interesting." I say, that name sounds familiar

"Very interesting." Gale adds, his nose looks like it stopped bleeding

"That's creepy Gale don't repeat me." I say

"Whatever." he says

"Anyway, why would someone rich need to fight, they have everything." I say

"I don't know." Dally says

"Hey Dally, look there's a squirrel." I say

Dally has a creepy obsession with squirrels, he says he must say squirrel every time he sees one, I think he's part dog.

"Where?" he asks

I push him into a bush me and Gale start laughing. Oh shit I think that was a thorn-bush. Oh well it's still funny.

"Mother fucking bitch." Dally shouts

Dally gets up and pushes me into the thorn-bush. Ouch, son of a bitch that hurt like hell. Dally is fucking going to get it now, I get up out of the thorn-bush and punch Dally in the face and knee him in the balls then I get down on the ground, where he is now laying and straddle his waist.

"Sorry, but you really shouldn't have pushed me." I whisper into his ear then kiss his cheek and get off of him

I don't know why I say sorry after I do that, I just do, I guess it's because I don't want to lose my only friends, I will not go back to being the girl I wants was.

Me, Gale, and Dally keep walking to school. Me and Dally continue to pick all the thorns out of are clothes and hair. We finally get to school and meet Finnick and Peeta at our usual spot under a tree.

"What happened to you Gale and Dally, Kitty get ahold of you?" Finnick asks

"Your going to be next if you ever call me that again." I warn

"You said that the last time." he says, but I ignore him

Out of the corner of my eye I see Peeta trying to pull down the sleeves of his jacket farther. God damn it not again.

"Peeta, come here." I say

He walks over and we walk away from the group because no one else knows he does this.

"What?" he asks

"What do you think, how many times did you cut yourself?" I ask

"H-How did you know?" he asks

"Just answer the question." I say

"Three times." he says

"Why this time?" I ask

"My mom." he says

"My mom abuses me too but you don't see me cutting myself." I say

"Yeah, but you aren't yourself anymore." he says

"Because, I will never be that girl who just let people do whatever they want to her or the girl who sat alone everyday or the girl who wished she was dead because it got so bad, what people would say and do to me." I say angry, he should have never brought up my past only he knows about that

"I'm sorry." he says

"It's okay, just try to stop cutting yourself, please, for me." I say

"I'll try." he says

After that we walk back to the rest of the group and talk for a little bit until we hear the bell ring then we go inside. I put my guitar in the instrument room. Then I go to my locker, get my books and start walking to my first period class but someone bumps into me. Who the hell did that, whoever did that is getting the shit beat out of them. I look up from the floor, where I'm now siting with my books lying around me, and see the person from my dream Cato Ludwig.

**Hope you liked the chapter. PLEASE REVIEW. BYE. :))**


	2. Author's Note 1

**Hey guys, So I just got done changing the first chapter, I changed it alot, it's way more interesting. So for this week I will not be updating, but I will update next week. BYE. :))**


	3. Chapter 2 Part 1

**Hi, hope you liked the last chapter, here is chapter 2 part 1. **

**"The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.**

** -Albert Einstein**

**Katniss's POV**

Wow, Cato Ludwig didn't think I'd ever see him again, My mom and him were the main reasons I tried to kill myself (Instead of her dating Cato when she was thirteen, I'm changing it to when she was twelve, before she tried to kill herself.) after he broke up/cheated with me he started saying horrible things about me that weren't true. For the first time in a long time I feel scared.

"C-Cato..." I whisper

I hear Peeta yelling my name from down the hall, but I don't turn to him. It's like I'm frozen in place, my vision starts to get blurry. What the hell is happening to me? That's when everything goes black.

**Hope you liked part 1 of chapter 2. PLEASE REVIEW. BYE. :))**


	4. Chapter 2 Part 2

**MERRY(late)CHRISTMAS! (or any other holiday you celebrate) Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I have been busy with exams for school (I failed two of them so my parents are really pissed at me but when aren't they) and of course Christmas, but here is part 2 of chapter 2.**

**"You were born original, don't die as a copy."**

**-LD**

**(Yay, two quotes)**

**"To me you're fortunate to have the love or adoration of even one person. There are so many people in this world who don't have any love from anyone, at all."**

**-Andy (Six) Biersack**

**Katniss's POV **

**(When Katniss wakes up)**

What the hell, why am I in my room? Why am I all sweaty? My head is killing me, I reach up to rub my head, what the fuck, why is there gauze on my head.

"Katniss, you're awake." I look over at the door and see Prim standing there

"What happened?" I ask

"You passed out at school and hit your head on the floor hard and when you were passed out you had a fever." Prim says

"Oh, I remember" I say

"Katniss, mom is really mad at you because she had to pick you up from school." she says

"Where is she now?" I ask

"At work." she says

"Okay, just stay away from her until she's down with me." I say

"Okay, but if things get to bad I'm calling Gale and Dally." She says

"Okay, did you walk home by yourself?" I ask

"No, Dallas walked me home." she says

"Didn't I tell you to stay away from him." I ask

"Yeah.." she says

"Stay away from him he goes around looking for trouble, the first time he got arrested was when he was ten, I already had to run from the cops three times because of him, I don't want you to be around him alone, I don't want you to be like him or me. I'm going to take a shower." I say

"Okay." she whispers

"Did you get my guitar?" I ask

"Dally did, I'll go get it." she says then runs out of the room, a few minutes later she comes in with my guitar and a present

"Here, and here's an early Christmas present." she says and hands my guitar and present to me

"But, Christmas isn't for two months." I say

"Just open it." she says

I set down my guitar, and look at the present then open it, it's in a cardboard box and it's a violin, how did she get the money for this

"Thank you so much Prim, but how did you get the money for this?" I ask

"Mom gave me some money, and I know that she wouldn't get you anything for Christmas, so I got you the violin, look who signed it." she says

I look down at the violin, Holy fucking shit it's signed by Jinxx (violinist and guitarist for Black Veil Brides). I stand up and pick up Prim and spin her around.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you." I say and set her back down

"Woah, dizzy." she says

"How did you get it signed?" I ask

"Somebody at school is related to Jinxx, so I gave them the violin to take to Jinxx." she says

"Thank you, well I'm going to go get a shower." I say then she walks out of the room

I grab a pair of yellow jean shorts and a black bra and underwear then go into the bathroom and get undressed and get a shower then put on my clothes brush my hair and braid it and put mascara on and walk into the kitchen and grab a beer then go back into my room and sit on my bed, 'well I got nothing to do' I think to myself, then I pick up my guitar case and open it and pull out my guitar and start to play and sing.

**(In The End by Black Veil Brides (I don't own it, Black Veil Brides does))**

_In The End as we fade into the night_  
_Woah oh oh_  
_Who will tell the story of your life?_

_In The End_  
_As my soul's laid to rest_  
_What is left of my body_  
_Or am I just a shell?_  
_I have fought_  
_And with flesh and blood I commanded an Army_  
_Through it all I have given my heart for a moment of glory_

_In The End as we fade into the night_  
_Woah oh oh_  
_Who will tell the story of your life?_  
_Woah oh oh_  
_And who will remember your last goodbye?_  
_WOAH OH OH_  
_Cause its the end_  
_And I'm not afraid_  
_I'm not afraid to die_

_I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid to die_

_Born a saint_  
_But with every sin I still wanna be holy_  
_I will live again_  
_Who we are_  
_Isn't how we live we are more than our bodies_  
_If I fall I will rise back up and relive my glory_

_In The End as we fade into the night_  
_Woah oh oh_  
_Who will tell the story of your life?_  
_Woah oh oh_  
_And who will remember your last goodbye?_  
_WOAH OH OH_  
_Cause its the end_  
_And I'm not afraid_  
_I'm not afraid to die_

_In The End as we fade into the night_  
_Woah oh oh_  
_Who will tell the story of your life_  
_Woah oh oh_  
_And who will remember your last goodbye_  
_WOAH OH OH_  
_Cause It's The End_  
_And I'm not afraid_  
_I'm not afraid to die_

_Who will remember this last goodbye_  
_Cause It's The End_  
_And I'm not afraid_  
_I'm not afraid to die_

_Not Afraid_  
_I'm Not Afraid to die_  
_Not Not Afraid_  
_I'm Not Afraid to die!_

**Hope you liked part 2 of chapter 2. And sorry if you don't like Black Veil Brides (who wouldn't), but there will be lots of songs and stuff by them. I will try to update soon. PLEASE REVIEW. BYE :))**


	5. Author's Note 2

**So I changed the last chapter a little bit so go reread it. :))**


	6. Chapter 2 part 3

**Hey, So here's part 3 of chapter 2, hope you like it! Enjoy.**

**"Being called weird is like being called limited edition, Meaning your something people don't see that often."**

** -Ashley Purdy**

**(Yay! two quotes again) **

**"Being unique is what is cool. Normal? What's normal? A setting on a washing machine and no one wants to be that."**

** -Ashley Purdy**

**Katniss's POV**

When I finish singing I hear clapping, I look over at the window and see Finnick and Peeta. They climb through the window.

"You do realize that I have a door right?" I ask

"Yeah but if your mom is here we don't want to run into her, she's a bitch." Finnick says

"Yep." I say

"Hi Katniss." Peeta says to me

"Hi Peetabread." I say using the nickname I gave him

"That was great Kitty, why don't you sing in front of people more often?" Finnick asks

I walk up to him and punch Finnick in the face

"My pretty face! What was that for you whore!" Finnick shouts

I punch him in the face again

"Oww! Why are you hitting me?" he asks

"The first one was because you called me Kitty again, the second one was because you called me a whore, I might be a bitch, but I am not a whore or a slut." I say

"Are you done hitting me?" Finnick asks

"For now." I say

Then Archer my german shepherd comes running in barking and growling at Finnick. I named him Archer because I found him when I was hunting, and that's the first thing that came to mind. Archer hates Finnick.

"Get that thing away from me!" Finnick screams like a girl

"Archer sit, Good boy now go find Prim." I say and Archer runs out of the room

"I gotta piss" Finnick says and walks out of the room

"How are you doing, Katniss, you hit your head hard?" Peeta asks

"I'm fine." I say

"That was Cato, at the school wasn't it? Peeta asks

"Yeah, how did you know that?" I ask

"I've been friends with you since me and you were five, I remember the jackass" Peeta say

"Oh, right..." I say

Then Finnick walks back in the room

"Did you put then seat down?" I ask Finnick

"Yes." Finnick says

"Good, because I didn't enjoy falling in last time." I say

"Can you sing another song?" Finnick asks

"No, and why do you want me to sing again?" I ask

"Because you're good." Finnick says

"Katniss, can you please sing another song?" Peeta asks

"Fine." I say

"Of course you listen to him." Finnick says

"Shut up, if you want me to sing again." I say

I pick up my guitar and start to sing

**(Smoke and Mirrors by Black Veil Brides** **(** **I don't own it, Black Veil Brides does))**

_Quiet as I watch you falling_  
_You become the prey again_  
_I can see your skin is crawling_  
_Lipstick cases and sins_

_Wake up Wake up Wake up_  
_You're drowning_  
_Same old song and dance_  
_Wake up Wake up Wake up_  
_My Darling_  
_Never stood a chance_

_Lost in love you are_  
_Out of touch so far_  
_An illusion_  
_It's all just smoke and mirrors_  
_Always chasing scars_  
_Never gets you far_  
_An illusion_  
_It's all just smoke and mirrors_

_I hear it in her voice, she's stalling_  
_"You were just another man"_  
_Your claims of love are falling_  
_Now it's clear you can't win_

_Wake up wake up wake up_  
_Heart's pounding_  
_Praying for romance_  
_Wake up wake up wake up_  
_It's sounding_  
_Time to try again_

_Lost in love you are_  
_Out of touch so far_  
_An illusion_  
_It's all just smoke and mirrors_  
_Always chasing scars_  
_Never gets you far_  
_An illusion_  
_It's all just smoke and mirrors_

_I'd rather be alone_  
_Than put you on a throne_  
_And lose my faith in smoke and mirrors_

_Black painted eyes_  
_Cover the lies_  
_It's time you threw away your cruel disguise_

_Lost in love you are_  
_Out of touch so far_  
_An illusion_  
_It's all just smoke and mirrors_

_Always chasing scars_  
_Never gets you far_  
_An illusion_  
_It's all just smoke and mirrors_

_I'd rather be alone_  
_Than put you on a throne_  
_And lose my faith in smoke and mirrors_

When I finish singing I walk out to the kitchen and grab a beer from the refrigerator and toss one to Finnick then sit on the kitchen table. Then Gale and Dallas walk in the door.

**Hope you liked part 3 of chapter 2. Part 4 should be up sometime by Monday. PLEASE REVIEW. BYE. :))**


	7. Chapter 2 part 4

**Hey guys! Hope you liked the last chapter. Here is part 4 of chapter 2, this might be the last part of this chapter. So, enjoy!**

**"Just because someone hurt you yesterday doesn't mean you should start living in constant fear of being hurt tomorrow."**

** -LD**

**Katniss's POV**

"Hey Gale, Hey Dally." I say taking a drink of my beer

"Hey Catnip, I got you a squirrel." Gale says throwing the dead squirrel at me, I catch it by its tail

"Thanks." I say

I go into my room and get Gale's shirt I borrowed earlier. Then walk back into the kitchen and throw it at him. Then I pick up the squirrel and take it outside and skin it and gut it, then bring the squirrel back in the house and cut it up and try to get all the little bones out of the meat. Then I get out a pan and put the meat in it and put it on the stove and turn the stove on.

"Is that a new tattoo, Katniss?" Dally asks

"This one, I got it last week." I say pointing to the little skull behind my ear, Dallas just nods

I have lots of little tattoos. I have a treble clef on my left wrist and three little heart on my right wrist, one heart is for my dad, another one is for Prim and the last one is for Peeta (No Peeta and Katniss never get together in this story, it's a brother sister love) and I have a bow and arrow on my right ankle and a star on my ring finger on my right hand. The last one is very special to me, Dallas, Peeta, Finnick, and Gale, it's a lightning bolt we all have one somewhere on us, mine is on my left foot above my big toe, Dally's is on his right wrist, Gale's is on the side of his neck, Finnick's is on his hip and Peeta's is on his right foot above his big toe. We choose to get a lightning bolt because after a storm there's a rainbow, meaning we may fight but we refuse to abandon each other, even if it means dying for each other.

"Oh god" I whisper

"What?" Finnick asks me

"I just realized that there's no reason for human life, all humans do is destroy the Earth and we're born just to die." I say

"Catnip, you have one fucked up mind." Gale says

"I can't help it, I think of weird ass things when I'm bored." I say

"Hey Katniss, do you have a six-pack of beer I can have?" Dallas asks me

"For what?" I ask

"I'm going to a party and I need beer and I can't buy it." Dally says

"I can't buy beer and I have it." I say

"But you never tell us where you get it." Dally says

"I will give it to you if you do something." I say smirking

"What would this something be?" Dally asks

**(This part is rated M, well I'm only 13 and writing it so you can read it if you want but I warned you)**

"You call Haymitch." I say

"The old drunk guy next door?" Dally asks

"Yep." I say

"There's a catch isn't there?" Dallas asks

"Yep, when you call him you have to ask if this is 911 and say that you have your boyfriend's dick stuck up your ass in a gay voice." I say

(Sorry, if I offended you, I don't mean to)

"I hate you, someone give me a phone." Dallas says

"Your actually going to do it?" Gale asks

"Yes, now give me your phone." Dallas says and Gale give him his phone

"What's his number?" Dallas asks

"123-456-7890." I say (obviously fake)

Dally types in the number and puts it on speaker, it rings three times then Haymitch answers the phone.

"Hello." I very grumpy sounding Haymitch says

"Is this 911, my boyfriend got his dick stuck up my ass." Dally says in a gay voice

"No, but can I join you? We can have a threesome." Haymitch says

"Shit!" Dally yells and hits the end call button and throws it at Gale, then we all start laughing

**(Okay, back to T)**

I go to the refrigerator and get the six-pack of beer and hand it to dally. Then we hear a car door slam shut, that's my mom

"Guys, you should leave." I whisper and they nod and head to my room to climb out my window I follow them

"Stay safe." Peeta whispers before climbing out the window

I sit on my bed, a few minutes later my mom comes running into my room and I stand up

"You are a worthless piece of shit, you know that right, I was enjoying being at work away from you when you school called and told me to come pick you up, you couldn't have waited untill you got home to pass out!" my mom yells

Then she pushes me to the ground and slaps me and punches me and kicks me everything starts to get fuzzy.

I don't fight back, I wouldn't forgive myself if I hurt her. I never cry or scream, she'll just hit me more. Right after my dad died, when she started doing this a tried getting her to stop, it never worked it just resulted in me getting hurt worse.

"Mom, stop it!" I hear Prim shout

"No, she deserves it." my mom says

Then I feel something cold against my arm.

"I hate you." I whisper to my mom

Then everything goes black.

**Hope you Enjoyed the last part of chapter 2. The next chapter shouldn't be up for a while because I still have to write it. Don't worry Katniss didn't die. PLEASE REVIEW. BYE. :))**


	8. Chapter 3

**Hi guys! So it's weird that I'm updating twice in one day and I actually didn't write this chapter on paper, I usually do that before I type it but I decided that that just takes to damn long. And I want to thank you for all the reviews that I've been getting, even though I only have 6 it's better than nothing, also this story means a lot to me because I make Katniss act sort of like me in a way (no I have not tried to kill myself like Katniss did in the story, I would never let myself give up like that no matter what happens, also if your going through a tough time feel free to private message me, unlike other people I don't judge at all). Okay, now I'm just rambling, on with the story! Enjoy!**

**"Waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka, waka...**

** -Pac-man**

**(Okay, that was a stupid quote, so I'm going to put another one.)**

**"Promises mean everything; but after they are broken, sorry means nothing."**

** -LD**

**Katniss's POV**

**(A few hour's after she passed out, when she wakes up)**

What the hell happened? Where am I? I sit up on the bed that I'm on, and wince in pain. It takes me a few minutes but then I realized I'm in Dallas's apartment, it smells like smoke, drugs, and sex. If you're wondering how Dallas has an apartment with him only being sixteen, it's because his mom died and his dad doesn't like him around, so his dad pays all his bills, as long as Dallas stays away from him. I walk out of Dallas's room and into his kitchen and see Dally with Peeta, Gale and Finnick standing in the kitchen.

"Finally awake?" Dallas asks

"Yes, and tell Sylvia to stop fucking smoking, it stinks in here." I say

Sylvia is Dally's slut or as he calls it 'girlfriend', she's a prostitute and when she isn't sleeping with guys for money she just does it for fun, the worst part is that she bring guys here, to Dallas's apartment to sleep with guys for fun and Dallas knows that's the weird part, but after Dally found out he started sleeping with other girls, so their relationship is pretty fucked up.

"Did you get any blood on my bed?" Dallas asks pointing to my arm

I look down and see that I have thirteen stitches in my arm right under my elbow.

"What the fuck happened?!" I ask yelling

"Your mom pulled a knife on you, Prim stitched you up." Finnick says

"Oh..." I say, my mom has never gone that far

"I got some of your clothes to change into since the ones you are wearing have blood on them." Peeta says throwing a plastic bag filled with clothes at me, I catch it with the arm that has the stitches and yelp

"You okay?" Gale asks

"Yeah fine, thanks for the clothes, Peeta." I say

"Yep." Peeta says

"Wait how did we get here none of you have a car?" I ask

"I drove yours." Gale says

"You what!" I scream

My car is my baby, it's the only thing I own that's important to me other than my instruments, I never let anyone drive it, it's a 2008 orange Dodge Challenger.

"Calm down Catnip, I didn't do anything to it." Gale says

"If I find out that you drive it again, your dead." I say to Gale

"Whatever." Gale says

"I would belive her Gale, remember the time she shot Finnick in the leg with an arrow." Dallas says

"That was an accident." I say

"Sure, it was." Finnick mutters

"Whatever, I'm getting a shower." I say

Then I walk into the bathroom and notice that I have a black eye too, 'just great, well at least it isn't swollen' I think to my self. Then I take the clothes out of the plastic bag, it's a Black Veil Brides shirt and white skinny jeans and a bra and underwear and a pair of socks and my brown combat boots, it kinda freaks me out that Peeta was in my bra and underwear drawers. Then I get undressed and get in the shower and when I get out I dry off and then I notice my shirt and jeans or missing...Finnick. I put on my bra and underwear and walk out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, I figure it's nothing they haven't seen before.

"Finnick, where is my shirt and pants?" I ask

"Do I have to give them to you, you look better without them." He says smirking

I walk up to him

"If you don't give them to me I will tell them what happened at sixth grade camp." I whisper in his ear

At six grade camp a girl kissed Finnick and it was his first kiss and he literally pissed his pants

"You wouldn't." Finnick says

"Hey guys, want to know something about Finnick?" I ask

"Okay, okay, here." Finnick says and hands me my clothes

I turn away from Finnick and see that Dallas and Gale are staring at my boobs

"Eyes are up here." I say

"If they weren't so big, we wouldn't have to stare at them." Gale says, they are a good size, they are a size C-cup

"Whatever." I say and walk back to the bathroom with my clothes.

I quickly put on my clothes and shoes then brush my hair with my fingers and rebraid it, then I walk out of the bathroom and back into the kitchen.

"Hey katniss, want to go to a party with us, you have to drive?" Dally asks

"Will there be beer?" I ask

"Yep." He says

"Hell yeah, I want to go." I say

"Cool." Dallas says

"Where is it?" I ask

"At the new rich kids place, he lives next to my house." Finnick says

Finnick lives in the rich section of town, even though I hate rich people, I still like Finnick because unlike the other rich snobs, he hates being rich because his parent are never home because they're always on business trips, he says that he would rather be dirt poor and be loved then be rich and ignored. Of course he isn't fully ignored he has us and his girlfriend Annie, I don't like Annie much because she's just to damn nice, but I like her more than Sylvia.

"New rich kid as in Cato Ludwig?" I ask

"Yeah, why." Finnick says

"No reason." I lie

"Hey Dally, does Sylvia keep any makeup here, so I can cover up this?" I ask pointing to my black eye

"I think, it's in the bathroom." he says

I walk to the bathroom and start opening drawers the first one is filled with condoms, the second one has a bunch of random stuff in it, I finally find Sylvia's make up and put some around my eye then put it back in the drawer and walk out of the bathroom.

"Let's go, Gale where did you put my keys?" I ask

"Here." he says and tosses them to me

We walk out of the apartment building and out to my car then we all get into my car, Peeta sits in the front and Gale, Finnick, and Dally cram into the backseat and of course I'm driving. I don't bother with a seat belt, I hate seat belts. It takes about five minutes for us to get there, I should take twenty but I drive really fast like twenty miles per hour above the speed limit, but I've never been in an accident or got a speeding ticket, there really are no cops in this town, there's like two.

"Jesus Crist, Catnip are you trying to kill us." Gale says as I pull into Finnick's driveway

We walk over to Cato's house and there's a drunk couple making out on the porch, 'Yep, there's definitely beer' I think to myself. Then we walk into Cato's house.

**Hope you liked it. Chapter 4 might be up tomorrow. PLEASE REVIEW. BYE. :))**


	9. Chapter 4

**So I just got done typing this but my computer has a shit load of viruses and my computer turned off so now I have to type it all again and I have to go to bed because I have three big tests tomorrow and it's all ready 12:52, looks like I'll be up all night. Hope you like it. Enjoy!**

**"I'm not perfect, never have been, never will be, if you don't like that the door is over there."**

** -Jayy Von Monroe**

**(Yay, two quotes)**

**"Always be yourself, unless you can be batman, then be batman."**

** -Jayy Von Monroe**

**(Wow, three quotes, and if you are wondering who Jayy Von Monroe is, he is one of the lead singers (and screamer) for Blood On The Dance Floor (BOTDF))**

**"Life is too short to take it seriously."**

** -Jayy Von Monroe**

**Katniss's POV**

One hundred jello shots, fifty beers, and like twenty-five random drinks people handed me later, I'm drunk as hell, and I don't know where Gale, Peeta, Finnick, and Dallas are. I walk out of Cato's house and walk, more like stumble over to Finnick's house. When I walk into Finnick's house I fall down the basement stairs.

"Oww, mother fucker." I mutter

Then I walk into a room that Finnick calls his 'man cave' and collapse in a beanbag chair.

**Peeta's POV**

Me, Dally, Gale, and Finnick walk over to Finnick's house and down to his 'man cave' as he calls it. I'm not drunk because I don't drink but Gale, Dallas, and Finnick had a few beers and shots. We find Katniss passed out on a beanbag chair.

"Hey Finnick, give me a marker." Gale says and Finnick finds one and gives it to him

"What are you doing?" I ask

"Drawing a moustache on Catnip." Gale says

"You know she is going to kick your ass when she wakes up, and she's going to be grumpy with the hangover she's going to have." I say

"It's worth it." Gale says drawing a moustache on katniss then he takes his phone out and takes a picture of her

After about an hour everybody is sleeping but me I'm still up trying to find away to tell Katniss something, I need to tell someone, she'll proboly hate me, she hates people like me.

**Sorry it was so short but, I hope you liked that chapter. PLEASE REVIEW. BYE. :))**


	10. Chapter 5

**So hi, I hoped you liked the last chapter. If I did get rid of all the viruses on my computer, which I think I did, I will be updating more. But anyway, Enjoy!**

**"Whatever you are, be a good one."**

** -Abraham Lincoln**

**(Yay, two quotes)**

**"Life is too beautiful to give away, and it is a gift we should never take for granted."**

** -Dahvie Vanity**

**Katniss's POV**

**(When she wakes up)**

My head is killing me, what the hell time is it, I look around the room and everyone is asleep. 'Oh shit' I think then run into the bathroom and vomit in the toilet. When I finish throwing up my guts I wipe my face on a towel and stand up. Then look in the mirror, why the fuck do I have a mustache drawn on me, I get a towel and wipe it off. I walk out of the bathroom and grab a pillow off the couch and throw it at Finnick. When the pillow hits him he falls off the couch.

"Oww, what the hell." Finnick says

"Finnick, who drawled a mustache on me?" I ask

"Gale." He says and rolls over so he is on his stomach and goes back to sleep

"Fucker." I mutter

I go upstairs to the kitchen and fill a bucket with water and ice, then walk downstairs and go over to Gale and dump the bucket of freezing water on him, and he screams.

"What the fuck." he yells at me

"Don't draw on my face and you wont get water dumped on you." I say

"Fuck off." He says and walks into the bathroom

I walk over to Peeta and gently wake him up

"Peeta wake up." I say, shaking him he just rolls over and goes back to sleep

"Come on Peeta, we need to get to school, we've already missed half of it." I say again, then he sits up

"Hi." He whispers

"Hi, we need to go to school so get up." I say

"What about them?" Peeta asks

"They can walk." I say

Peeta gets up then we walk out of Finnick's house and gets in my car and I drive to my house and we get out. I walk into my room and grab the pair of clothes that Peeta keeps here and hand them to him, then he walks into the bathroom. I walk over to my dresser and grab a pair of purple skinny jeans and a Blood On The Dance Floor shirt and a bra and underwear and a pair of socks. Then Peeta comes out of the bathroom and I go into the bathroom and get a quick shower because I smell like vomit and alcohol, then get dressed then put makeup around my black eye and mascara on, then I fix my hair the way it's suppose to be, which means teasing the fuck out of it then burning the hell out of it to get it straightened then putting half a can of hair spray in it. Then I walk out of the bathroom and put my black converse on.

"I thought you hated gay people." Peeta says

"What?" I ask

"Your shirt, Blood On The Dance Floor, Jayy is gay and Dahvie is bisexual (I'm not sure if Dahvie Vanity is bisexual or straight, so sorry if I got that wrong)." Peeta says

"I didn't say I hate all gay people, just most and Jayy and Dahvie are awesome and sexy as hell." I say

"Ohh...ready to go?" he asks

"Yeah, wait a sec." I say

Then I grab my flute and walk into the kitchen a grab a beer out of the fridge.

"Didn't you have enough of that last night." Peeta says

"Hell no." I say

"What are you going to say if someone asks about the stitches at school?" Peeta asks

"That it's none of their business and to fuck off, must of the people are too scared to talk to me anyway." I say

"That's probably because you've broke six people's noses and you broke that dude Thresh's arm, and that's just been this school year." Peeta says

"Well, they shouldn't have pissed me off, now let's go." I say finishing my beer

We get into my car and I start driving to school

"I'm gay." Peeta says and I slam on the brake

"What! How long have you been a faggot." I yell

"Don't call me a faggot and since I was thirteen." Peeta says

"And you didn't tell me, when I tried to kill myself we said that we wouldn't hide anything from each other." I say

"So, you're mad at me?" Peeta asks

"Yes, but not because your gay because you didn't tell me. Why didn't you tell me?" I ask

"I thought you would hate me." Peeta says

"I've been friends with you since we we're five and you saved my life, I could never hate you." I say

"So, we okay?" Peeta asks

"Yep." I say

I finish driving to school and we walk into the school and go to the office.

"Hi, we need late slips, our names are Peeta Mellark and Ka..." I start to say but the lady at the desk cuts me off

"Yeah, yeah, Katniss Everdeen, I know your name your in here almost every other day." she says and hands us are late slips

"Bitch." I say and walk out of the office

"Did you just call her a bitch?" Peeta asks

"Yeah, and if she doesn't like it she can burn in hell for all I care." I say

"Well someone's grumpy." Peeta says

"Shut up." I say

Then Peeta goes to his class and I go to my band class, I walk in and everybody is staring at me, I hand the teacher my late slip and sit down in the flute section, I'm really not that late for this class, I'm only late by five minutes.

"So now that Miss. Everdeen is here, I can introduce the new student Cato Ludwig, and he is the only one in here that plays more than one instrument other than Katniss, Cato would you like to tell us what you play?" the teacher asks Cato

"I play the alto saxophone, violin, guitar, and all percussion instruments." Cato says

"Okay, so a month from today you will all play something in a group of three to five people in front of the whole school, I will choose the people you get to be in a group with, the people in the guitar classes and choir classes will be doing this to so you might be in a group of people who aren't in band and are in one of those classes, the number of people in your group are the number of songs you will play, here are the requirements, everybody in you group must be in at least one of your songs, all the members of your group do not have to be in all the songs but they must be in at least one, there doesn't have to be singing unless a kid from choir is in your group, you get to choose the songs you would like to do, If you have any other questions please ask me after class, when I'm done putting you into groups the choir and guitar kids will come over here too and then you will find your groups and decide what you want to play." the teacher says

When he starts telling us what people are in what groups I tune out untill I hear my name

"...And the last group will be Katniss Everdeen, Peeta Mellark, and Cato Ludwig

**So, I hope you liked that chapter. PLEASE REVIEW. BYE. :))**


	11. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! So Katniss talks to Cato in this chapter, yay! Hope you like this chapter. Enjoy!**

**"Real eyes realize your lies."**

** -writing on a building I passed when I was walking home from school**

**Katniss's POV**

'Goddamnit can't anything ever go right in my life' I think to myself. Then all the Guitar and Choir kids come in and I see Peeta walk in.

"What are you going to do, Cato is in our group?" Peeta asks

"I knew I couldn't avoid him forever, right now we need to worry about whether he can play an instrument." I say, then get up and walk over to where Cato is standing.

"So, follow me." I say to Cato

Then I walk into one of the practice rooms

"You two, stay here." I say to Peeta and Cato

Then go into the instrument room and get a school owned violin and guitar and walk back into the practice room and hand the violin to Cato.

"His name is Peeta Mellark and do you remember me?" I ask

"The girl who passed out in the hallway after running into me and the drunkest person at my house last night and my ex-girlfriend Katniss Everdeen." Cato says

"Right, now play." I say

"What do you want me to play." Cato asks

"Anything." I say

"Okay." he says

Then he takes the violin out of the case and begins to play, 'Holy fucking shit, it's beautiful' I think to myself. Then he puts the violin back in the case.

"Now play this." I say and hand him the guitar

He takes it out of the case and starts to play, 'Well he's not as good as me' I think to myself. When he is done playing it he puts it back into the case.

"Good now, I'm just going to trust that you can play the drums." I say

"I can, now what instruments do you play?" He asks

"Flute, Oboe, Guitar, and a little bit of Violin." I say

"Okay now what songs do we want to play, wait you don't get to choose." I say

"How is that fair?" Cato asks

"Don't ever question me." I say

"Why? What are you going to do?" Cato asks

I walk up to him and punch him in the face

"Bitch, the fuck was that for?" Cato asks

"Yep, you should never question Katniss, she's already broke six people's noses, don't think she wont break another." Peeta says to Cato

"So anyways, we will be playing Wretched and Divine by Black Veil Brides, I will be playing guitar and singing and Cato you will be playing the drums and maybe singing a little bit, and then me and Cato will be playing Overture by Black Veil Brides (more like Jinxx) and Cato you will have to teach me how to play violin and then we will all sing Bewitched by Blood On The Dance Floor, Peeta you will have Dahvie's part and Cato you will have Jayy's part and I will have that girls part (Sorry, I don't know what that girl's name is) and then gale will take the songs and remove the parts that we are doing and keep the parts we aren't doing." I say

"Okay." Peeta says and Cato nods

"Now I'm going home, because I still have a headache and I think I have to vomit." I say and lean over the trash can and vomit

"Yep, I'm definitely going home." I say

I write down my address and hand it to Cato

"What's this?" he asks

"You have to give me violin lessons." I say then walk out of the school and to my car and drive home and fall asleep on my bed

**Hope you liked it. I'm sorry if you don't like Blood On The Dance Floor, but there is going to be more stuff on here about them, I love Dahvie Vanity and Jayy Von Monroe (who wouldn't). PLEASE REVIEW. BYE. :))**


	12. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, so since my computer isn't working, I'm typing this on my iPod, and I know the last chapter wasn't that good, but I hope you like this chapter, enjoy!**

**"Love is not about how much you say I love you, but how much you prove that it's true."**

** -LD **

**Katniss's POV**

Holy shit, that was one weird dream, but I have to find it, I run into the bathroom and open one of the drawers and dig through it until I find my jewelry box that I haven't opened in years, I open my jewelry box and find what I was looking for, the necklace Cato got me when we were dating, I shove the necklace in my back pocket of my jeans, so when Cato comes over to teach me violin I can give it to him, then I put my jewelry box back in the drawer and look in the mirror

"Holy shit." I whisper to myself

It looks like a rat attacked my hair, then had babies in it then, died, I quickly put my hair in a braid, then put on my hunting boots and grab my crossbow (Yes, I'm making Katniss have a crossbow instead of a regular bow)

"Archer!" I yell (if you forgot Archer is Katniss's dog) and he comes running through the door, I reach down and pet his head

"Ready to go hunting?" I ask knowing he isn't going to answer, he just wags his tail

I reach in my pocket and grab my iPhone and text Gale

Me: I'm going hunting, you coming?

Gale: Sure, I'll meet you at your house

Me: Ok

I put my iPhone back in my pocket and walk over to the refrigerator and grab a beer and open it and wait for gale to come.

When I finish my beer Gale comes walking throw the door carrying his bow (Gale is using a regular bow not a crossbow)

"Ready to go?" I ask and grab the key to my four-wheeler off the table

"Yeah." He says

We walk outside with Archer following us wagging his tail, then we walk over to where mine and Gale's four-wheelers are sitting, Gale keeps his four-wheeler here because he can't ride it anywhere where he lives and there's acres of land behind my house.

"Archer come here." I say and he jumps on the four-wheeler and sits between my legs, it took months of training him to get him to stay between my legs and not try to jump off

Me and Gale drive three miles then we walk another mile to where we hunt

Me and Gale are sitting against a tree with Archer in between us waiting for something to come by, then Gale nudges me and points to something behind a tree and I see that it's a deer, I slowly try to get closer to it, then I raise my crossbow slowly and aim for the heart and pull the trigger, and the deer drops to the ground, I walk over to it

"It's a ten point" I say

"Who's keeping the antlers?" Gale asks

"You, I'll keep the fur." I say

Then Gale grabs it by the front legs and drags it back to where we parked the four-wheelers

"You get to gut it." I say to Gale

Gale takes out a knife and begins to gut it, when he finishes Archer walks over to it and sniffs it

"Gale, give me the knife." I say and he hands it to me

I cut a piece of meat off of the buck and throw it too Archer, and he catches it in his mouth and swallows it without chewing, then I put the knife in my pocket, then Gale puts the buck on his four-wheeler and I climb on my four-wheeler and Archer jumps in between my legs and we drive back to my house and Archer jumps off my four-wheeler, 'well since I have the four-wheeler out might as well have so fun' I think to myself and I start doing donuts and wheelies, then I park my four-wheeler next to Gale's and walk over to Gale and take out the knife from my pocket and start to skin the deer, then cut it up into pieces

"Gale, get me a bucket." I say

Then Gale goes inside and a few minutes later returns with a bucket, I grab the bucket from him and put the pieces of meat in it, when I finish cutting it up I walk inside and dump the bucket of meat into the sink and rinse it all off and then put it into plastic bags and put it in the freezer, then walk outside with a garbage bag and see Gale laying in the grass on his back playing with the antlers that he somehow got off

"Why are you laying in the grass?" I ask

"Because I can." He says

"Good enough reason, I guess." I say and lay down in the grass

"Put the rest into the trash bag." I say handing Gale the garbage bag

Gale gets up and puts the rest of the deer into the trash bag then takes the trash bag and puts it in the neighbor's yard

"Their problem now." He says and grabs my hand and pulls me off the ground and we walk into my house and I hand Gale a few bags off deer meat.

"I have to go watch Rory, Vick, and Posy." Gale says

"Okay, bye" I say

"Bye, Catnip, you might want to wash your hands, you look like you just murdered someone." Gale says the walks out the door

I look at my hands and there's deer blood all over them, I walk over to the sink and wash them off then grab another beer out of the refrigerator and open it then take a sip out of it, then there's a knock at the door, I open it and see Cato.

**Hope you guys like it, I'll try to update soon. PLEASE REVIEW. BYE. :))**


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